Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
