Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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