OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
