Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
