I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
