1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hello my rib-scented angel!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
