Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
