You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
