Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
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