So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
