I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
