are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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