I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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