i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
