i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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