I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
