she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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