im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
