she was so not down for the gang bang
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
