How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
