he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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