Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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