Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
