In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
