The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
