i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
