College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
