when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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