I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
