You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
