I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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