I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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