totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
