um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
