nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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