so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
