After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
