did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
