i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
