Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
