I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
