Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Randomize