i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize