Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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