He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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