my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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