Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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