Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
