Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
