i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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